School Prayer..

I've been casually watching a little drama unfold at my alma mater over the issue of school prayer.  Apparently, they still conducted Christian prayers over the loudspeaker (despite the fact that it is illegal - but they had segregated proms until about seven-eight years ago, so local residents tend to disregard some laws until they're challenged) until just recently when a parent approached the school board and demanded that they stop.  That got me thinking:  If my child attended public school, how would I feel about faculty led prayer?? And I've decided that I would be totally against it. 

The main reason Chris and I decided to homeschool Noah was so he would have a Christ-centered education.  There are, of course, many other reasons (consistency concerns as we move, quality of education, independent thinking/learning, the fact that Noah is a bear if he's woken up before he's ready), but ensuring that Noah places God at the center of his education and understands and recognizes that ALL knowledge is related and governed by HIM was at the top of our list for important reasons to homeschool.  A public school cannot do that.  Even if prayer was conducted in schools (by faculty) there would be the requirement that all faiths/religions/doctrines be presented as true, right, and/or valid - something I find considerably more troublesome than only allowing children to have quiet moment to themselves for prayer.  I certainly recognize that other religions have just as much right to practice their faith as I do, but I would not want my child exposed to the "all religions are valid" argument as it would have to be presented in public school. As Koukl mentions in his commentary, are we prepared for prayers such as this:  "May God, Buddha, Krishna, Cosmic Consciousness, and all that is, bless you"???  If I hadn't already planned to homeschool Noah through high school, that would be the moment that that I pulled my child out of the public education system.  I firmly believe we can teach our children about the value of diversity and religious tolerance without teaching religious pluralism...which is what we risk happening if we were to reinstitute prayer in public school.    

I agree with the author of the article below that I wish we still were able to conduct a "God of the Bible" prayer in our schools at the start of every day as we did for almost 200 years before the separation of church and state became an issue within our public schools.  But we can't.  For those of us that are Christians, I think we would definitely do more harm than good if we had to make adjustments in public school to accommodate other faiths/practices as well as our own.  At 6, 8, and 10 years of old (and even older), children are extremely impressionable and I would not wish to relinquish my rights as a parent to a virtual stranger in determining what constitutes (at its very best) good Christian teachings or (at its worst) broad and inclusive religious "tolerance."  Before our children are exposed to religious pluralism (or what another writer calls "subjective reality"), we need to equip them with the desire to seek out the inspired word of God and know and understand the difference between it and other religions.  And I firmly believe that is the parents' responsibility...not the state.   

Stand to Reason:  School Prayer:  The Wrong Hill to Die On

A Confession...

So I have a little confession to make:  I came home after Classical Conversations today, had a bite to eat, checked my e-mail, sent a few messages, then sat back…and just had a good cry.  It wasn't your typical tears generated merely out of sadness or frustration (although I did miss seeing a dear friend today and I’m going to blame her for being so great that she probably initiated the whole “three tissue” moment) but it was more about today being a series of revelations rather than anything else.    

In case you didn't know, I’m an introvert – I don’t DO parties or large social gatherings, and the idea of attending formal functions or meetings almost makes me break out in hives.  I’m usually most comfortable in small settings, alone with my family or in the company of a few great and reliable friends sharing a great meal in a quiet space.  It hit me today that for the first time ever in almost 10 years of being married to “the Navy,” (okay...my husband) I’m actually going to regret having to leave a place in a little over a year (revelation #1).  Yes, I look forward to new beginnings, but it dawned upon me this afternoon that I’ve never had quite the same loving, caring, supportive community experience before that we share within our homeschooling “family” here in HI.  This family is large…and guess what?  I’m totally not intimidated by its size or numbers as we gather for the benefit of our children (revelation #2).  Frankly, I’ve never acquired or felt this same sense of “family” from living in military communities as well as other military spouses seem to gain – maybe it’s because I’ve struggled so much to find and establish (repeatedly) my own separate identity and groups of friends as I’ve followed my husband from duty station to duty station.  I’ve desperately needed something independent of him that is mine to nourish, develop, and grow.  Homeschooling my child has become that proverbial plant to carefully tend.

And please don't misunderstand - this blog post is not meant to diminish the significance of the many friendships I’ve made as a military spouse. They’ve all been wonderful and I still greatly appreciate each and every one of them.  In fact, many of our homeschoolers are also military families.  But it's important for me to share what homeschooling has specifically meant for me – it’s something outside of Chris’ workplace/space, built upon a large and expansive network of friendships that doesn’t involve worrying about rank or commands, dining outs and hail and farewells, fraternization rules and blue/red stickers.   Those things simply don’t matter in homeschooling circles.  I spend time with WONDERFUL children every week that I don’t share a blood relationship with for which I feel thrilled each time they learn something new or share with me a challenging experience that they’ve overcome…and children were never really my thing (revelation #3).  And that’s probably been the biggest revelation of all.  I absolutely adore these young people – they’re extremely bright, talented, polite, and loving and it is incredible to watch them communicate, learn, and play together – from the smallest toddler to the teenagers just years away from leaving home and heading to college…those with learning and developmental disabilities and those without. There’s no separation or isolation here. We work together not only to educate but to overcome hardships, as this is a community and we are a team.

Homeschooling has changed my life in so many wonderful and beautiful ways that it’s going to be tremendously difficult to say good-bye to so many faces that I’ve come to care for and appreciate in this initial phase of a very long journey.  When I started homeschooling Noah last year, I was a little afraid that it was going to be a lonely place for him, not because I was worried over the number of homeschooling activities that would or wouldn’t be there, but because I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to get out and make those happen for him.  Now I know that I can.  Now I know that God intended for this experience to play a significant role in a spiritual rebirth that He knew I so desperately needed.       

For my fellow homeschoolers:  I am especially grateful for each and every one of you.  I am thankful to call you “friend” and be yours in return.  My heart is full.  Thank you for the willingness to give so much of yourselves that others are able to grow and flourish in the shade we both share. J

This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will take a shoot from the very top of a cedar and plant it; I will break off a tender sprig from its topmost shoots and plant it on a high and lofty mountain.  On the mountain heights of Israel I will plant it; it will produce branches and bear fruit and become a splendid cedar.  Birds of every kind will nest in it; they will find shelter in the shades of its branches.  

Ezekiel 17:22-23   

12 Days of Homeschool...

As we're eating breakfast out the other morning, a boy asks Noah where he goes to school.  Noah replies, "I'm homeschooled."  The other child looks really confused, pauses for a moment, and responds with, "You're kidding me!" Noah gives him a funny look and says, "No...I'm not kidding. Why would I do that?" :)

   

Stayin' Busy...

Yesterday marked a month without Chris...and my has time flown by!  Normally deployments seem to drag and within a week of him leaving, I'm beginning to experience some serious doubts as to whether getting married to the Navy was such a great idea.  This time is different.  Maybe it's because I often have little surprises such as this to look forward to in the morning:

A plumeria blossom Noah left for me by the kitchen window

Or quite possibly because we've been hanging out with great friends like these:

It could even be that we were so happy with our homeschooling curriculum that we decided to keep the lessons going year round:

But whatever it is, Noah and I have settled into our first month of deployment quite well and are happy to keep things moving along until Chris returns...a really long time from now. (OPSEC!).  :)  

Noah just finished playing with i9 soccer in Honolulu and it was a fantastic experience for him.  We had been playing with an MWR-affiliated league and unfortunately we were afraid that it had almost ruined any sort of positive association Noah would have with the sport.  Organization was extremely poor, there was a great deal of standing around, too much chit-chat from the group leaders, not enough play, and overall it was just an incredibly poor experience.  Noah HATED it.  So we quit that league mid-season and hoped that paying double and joining an independently owned and operated youth sports team would drastically improve Noah's opinion of soccer.  It did.

Noah and his buddy, Wesley, playing tag after the game

Receiving medals from Coach Hector and Coach James

Certificate from i9 Sports

Coach James hired a face painter to come and do all the kids' faces after the game - SO NICE!

Silly Puppy 

         

We also continued with lapbooking. This week's study involved plants and flowers.  I picked up the following titles from the library and we've spent the last few evenings pouring over them:

From Seed to Plant - Gail Gibbons (my favorite)

How Do Plants Grow? - Melissa Stewart

Plants and Life - Sally Morgan

Seed, Soil, Sun - Cris Peterson

Plant - Fleur Star

Noah LOVES lapbooking.  As soon as we complete one, he's asking to do another.  If I was to ever consider fully going the route of "unschooling," this would be how I'd do it.  You can pull in reading, writing, art, science, math, geography...you name it...all under a topic HE decides he wants to study and when he wants to study it.  Instead of being forced to learn material that he will never use or absorb information in a format that doesn't appeal him, going this route enables him to follow his innate curiosities and passions.  I don't know if I could jump on board the unschooling model entirely, but I do see the many benefits to this style of learning.  It definitely works.

Here's his latest video describing his work.  You'll have to excuse my reaction in the last few seconds - I was really trying hard to contain my laughter as he describes one particular part of a flower. 

 

     

Lessons at the Doctor's Office...

Noah and I found ourselves in a terribly uncomfortable situation today, but I'm pretty proud of my buddy for handling it fairly well.  While in the optometry office this morning, I noticed a woman who appeared to be having trouble breathing - her respiratory sounds could be heard clear across the room.  Then I noticed the trach. Oh, okay...that makes sense.  Well, I guess her breathing issues were not normal because she then begins to clean the thing out right there in the middle of the doctor's office.

Noah went bug eyed, covered his ears (which is what he does when he's really freaked), pulled his feet up into one of the office chairs, and got really quiet.  I have to admit - *I* was beginning to freak out a little, because the smell was just horrible.  It was one of the worst odors I have ever encountered and I was trying hard not to gag.  Noah was sitting to my right and I watched as his eyes slowly rolled up from looking sideways at her to rest on me (he never took his hands off his ears) and he politely whispered, "Mommy...WHAT is she DOING?" I told him that she was having trouble breathing and what she was doing was sort of like when he blew his nose when he had a cold.  He nodded and didn't say another word about it. I don't know if she had to perform that tracheal suctioning right there in the office or just didn't want to excuse herself, but I was proud of Noah for managing his fear as best he could.  She scared the crap out of him and yet he kept his cool with just one polite question.

He waited until we were leaving the building to hit me with how he was really feeling - that it made him "sad...and really, really, really scared."            

Lapbooking: The Titanic

I took a little bit of a break from blogging over the last two months and Noah took a short break from school.  With visitors in town (Chris' parents just celebrated their 40th anniversary - Congratulations!) and Chris' deployment fast approaching (which he is now on), we didn't want or need the added pressure of trying to ensure Noah was keeping up with his curriculum schedule.  We just kept things rather informal - reading library books in the backyard, doing math problems in our heads while waiting in line at Target, drawing and coloring, field trips, watching "When Animals Attack!" videos on YouTube...you know, the important stuff.      

So now we're back to our regularly scheduled programming.  I decided early on that we would be year round homeschoolers (for pretty much the same reasons this homeschooling mom outlines here), so we've been working on a few fun projects in conjunction with our Sonlight curriculum.  Lapbooking has been something I've been very interested in further incorporating in Noah's learning (we did one for Easter) because in breaks down the information into manageable pieces, helps cement ideas and information in their minds, and provides them with a fun, creative record of what they've learned that they can return to anytime they wish.  In addition, there are so many great tutorials on lapbooking out there and plenty of Internet sources and templates for various subjects/topics that putting one together is quite easy - in most cases, the real work has already been done for you (you the parent, not your student) and you just need to find the applicable PDF file(s), print, cut, and begin your lapbook!

Noah has been begging me to do a unit study on the Titanic, but after having completed our pirate unit study (you can read about that adventure here) so recently, I just wasn't ready to jump into another GIANT project so soon...not with several weeks left to finish in our Sonlight materials.  So we reserved a few libraries books, pulled out the manila folders and the pencils and crayons, and went to work on creating a Titanic lapbook instead.  Here's photos of our finished product:

Front Cover

First Section

Information on "growlers" and "bergy bits," passengers and crew members about the ship, before and after photos, and important facts about this luxurious ocean liner.    

Geography and Class Division 

The Sinking of the Titanic:  A Timeline

Second Section

Noah's pretty accurate depiction of the sinking of the Titanic (Notice the people in the water and the sad faces on those aboard the lifeboats. I thought that big, grey scribbly thing in the top, left corner was the smoke monster from Lost - that would explain everything! - but he advised me that it was how the iceberg would have looked at night.)

That concludes our Titanic lapbook.  It was both easy to complete and lots of fun - both are qualities that I love in homeschool learnin'. :)  In the past, Noah has hated coloring or drawing (he'd rather paint), so these projects help encourage him to express himself in that format without a battle over simply covering coloring or workbook pages in large red or blue scribble and saying, "Done!" I think our next lapbook will probably involve a plant and seed lapbook of some sort, since we've both enjoyed our mini garden in the backyard.  Or maybe a lapbook on Donald Trump's toupee...we could cover a lot of subjects on that monstrosity - wind velocity, the power of adhesives, the devolution of humanity - the list goes on.
         


P.S. Titanic lapbooking materials seen in this post can be found on this webpage.   

Noah's Garden

Due to visitors and a few doctor's appointments, I'm a little behind on posting.  Oops! There's Easter pics and several other fun homeschool activities that require sharing and I promise I'll try to get to those as soon as possible. :)  In the meantime, I thought I'd show you a little "Noah" project we completed while Chris was on leave:

Our Herb, Tomato, and Strawberry Gardening Project

The perimeter of our backyard is lined with these awesome, low maintenance ferns...except for this one spot. It just didn't seem to get just the right amount of sun and water and so the ferns slowly disappeared and grass sprung up where ferns once grew, throwing off the balance of our little piece of backyard paradise.  Chris and I have been discussing what to do with this bare patch for two years and just couldn't come up with a solution we were really happy with  - transplanting more ferns seemed "out" as they'd just die like their predecessors and building a raised flower bed (the ground is rock hard underneath) just seemed like too much work and expense.  We tried a bird feeder, but reconsidered after the birds managed to happily decorate the fence with the leavings of all their feasting.  (We didn't want our neighbors to hate us, so the feeder was moved to another location).  And so a whiskey barrel herb garden came to mind:  easy and inexpensive to create, low maintenance, and a great way to add some fresh flavor to improve my cooking!  It would also make for a great homeschool gardening project to help provide lessons in patience, care, and responsibility for the littlest Dudley, which is something else Chris and I were pretty stoked about.  Apparently Noah was more than stoked about it, too, because he stole out of the house this morning while I was in the shower to get the following pictures and videos on my iPhone: 

I'm really glad he's excited about it, although not so happy that he went into the backyard unattended.  We'll have to work on that one. :)

So, that's our whiskey barrel garden.  We planted basil, thyme, strawberries, tomatoes, and various peppers and can't wait to see the fruits of our labor. We're also looking forward to someday having the space to have a REAL garden - complete with lettuce, squash, beans (that was actually rosemary that N pointed out in the video), and cucumbers - but that'll have to wait for another duty station.  In the meantime, we're pretty happy to watch these little guys grow and flourish in their cute little space in our backyard!    

Coffee's on Me (Pinterest Challenge)

Are there any Pinterest fans out there??  Are you up for a little Pinterest fun???  

If so, here's what you do:  Pick a favorite project that you've done with your kids - Pinterest inspired, of course - and share it with us.  It can be small or large, complex or simple...just something fun and educational.  It doesn't matter if you homeschool...just show us how creative you can be!! Send me photos and a write-up about your family's (or classroom) experience and I'll post it on the blog to share with others on Sunday, April 29th.  Readers will vote on their favorite project and the winner of this challenge will receive two bags of 100% Kona coffee courtesy of moi.  

Sounds like fun, right? Let's get Pinspired!  :)




If you intend to participate, send me a message using the "M" tab below and I'll reply with instructions for submitting your photos/write-up.  Submissions must be received no later than Friday, April 27th. Thanks and have fun!   

The Lord's Prayer

I've been trying to remember at which age I memorized this prayer and I can't recollect exactly when that happened.  Age 8?  9?  What I do know is that I definitely wasn't four years old.

I think he does a pretty great job. Way to go, buddy. 

Lapbook Monday

Age of Defiance

Four is tough...T-O-U-G-H.  Tougher than the terrible twos or even the tyrannical threes.  For our family, this truly has been a period of "Fiendish Fours." Over the last several months, Noah's behavior has been VERY unpredictable - as in all sweet, precious, loving little boy one moment and an ugly, horrible beast with fangs, red eyes, and a ghastly temper the next...often without warning or apparent reason.  Defiance is this monster's name and it's an all out battle when he shows up.  If you need a visual, picture something a little like this:

Or according to Noah, he might look more like this:

These struggles are always nasty and after yelling, gnashing of teeth, objections of "I don't waaaaant tooooo" following by collapses in the floor, a few "I don't love you"s and "You're mean!"(those are my favorite), verbal lashings, a spanking, and many tears (often on all our parts) the three of us end up feeling more or less defeated.  So defeated, in fact, that if my kid wasn't around to witness, I'd probably have "a sit in a corner hugging my knees, rocking back and forth, and pleading "Why, Lord, whhhhhy????" moment of weakness.  Or worse...I experience a hypoglycemic "crash" and collapse in a ineffective heap...which is also bad.  Very, very bad.  Dangerous even.

These power struggles have to go.  

So after one such battle this morning, I decided that enough was enough.  I didn't like Noah very much after this particular temper tantrum, and more importantly, I REALLY didn't like myself and how I elected to respond to said tantrum.   Normally I can control my temper fairly well for two reasons: 1) because I'm very aware of what stress does to my blood sugars (intense anger and agitation - envision the Incredible Hulk - followed by a severe crash); and 2) I know that a parent should never feel out of control in their response to their child(ren)'s misbehavior.  Today, however, I could feel myself on the brink of "losing it." I was ANGRY and patience had walked out the door somewhere between the time Noah elected to hurl one of his trains across the room and when he repeatedly threw himself against me while screaming his head off as I toted his basket of trains to the guest room to enforce his punishment.  In those moments, I just have to walk out of the room and not come back until I've collected myself.  It was just...that...bad.  Game over.

Here's what I know:  I know that it's a preschooler's "job" to be oppositional - this is the time when they are learning that they have some control over their world and are discovering their own autonomy.  I totally get it.  I also know that I would MUCH rather have a child that is confident enough to express their emotions and stand up for themselves rather than never feeling like they have a voice in any matter.  That was me for much of my childhood - really well-behaved but "voiceless"- and I don't want that for Noah.  I want him to trust that I will honor his thoughts and feelings and won't always squash or dismiss his point of view....even if we disagree.  So how do you balance the two?

We already employ a lot of the recommended tactics for handling defiant children:  giving positive attention to good behavior, ignoring or walking away from annoying behavior, and using positive opposites.  They work, but aren't 100% effective means of responding to every situation, especially in public settings.  So I went digging on the Internet this morning in hopes of seeing what other parents recommend in response to this phase in four year old behavior and this is what I saw repeatedly: Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD.   As in, "Oh...your kid misbehaves? Repeatedly? Well then, they must have some type of disorder...you should have them check out."  Are you kidding me??? First of all, this is a slap in the face to any family truly struggling through one of these concerns.  To so flippantly suggest that a child is dealing with a real emotional, behavior, and psychological issues at the first sign of conflict is like equating someone's spouse's absence on a business trip (I don't care how long) with the absence of a military spouse on deployment to Afghanistan.  It's offensive and totally discredits what families with REAL diagnoses in these disorders are going through.  Second, maybe the problem truly lies with us...the parents.  I think we're far too quick to lay the blame for our children's behavior at their feet - as in "they're overly [willful, headstrong, exceptionally naughty, etc.] and that's why my disciplinary tactics are not working."  They're children and unless they actually have one of the aforementioned concerns, I don't buy the "my kid is just unique and doesn't respond well to discipline."  Chances are, the weakness is ours...not theirs.  As much as I hate admitting fault, I recognize that these issues are indicators of my failures as a parent...not his failures as my child.

So, Chris and I did a little self-reflecting this morning, looking for areas in which we could improve our responses to the disciplinary issues we're facing with particular attention given to consistency, clarity, confidence, and (visual) cues.  The Four C's. :)  And here are a few of the modifications we plan to make on our part:

No more counting.  Popular parenting technique, but in our house it's ineffective.  It's just taught Noah that he has three (or more) chances to comply with a desired behavior.   "One...two...three" usually involves some foot dragging and mucho delaying until the very last moment...AND that's when he finally begins to clean up, respond to being summoned, or actually head up to bed.  Instead, we are going to implement something similar to the following: "Noah, it's 7:30 and bedtime is at 8.  Your toys must be picked up by 7:45 (or whatever is a reasonable time) or the'll go in a box and you won't be able to play with them for 2 days."  And if he doesn't respond appropriately, every toy left out will be removed and placed in the "Box of Doom" (Chris' parents will appreciate this one) for the designated time period.  No fuss, no arguments, no response to any tantrum or chaos that ensues. We will remain calm. Discussion will take place...but only after he's calmed down and acknowledged his wrong doing.    

No more freebies.  Sometimes it will actually dawn on Noah that he's about to lose a favorite toy or privilege as a result of misbehaving and the only viable option he has left before his punishment is fully carried out is to apologize profusely.  This usually involves him clinging to me (or Chris) when we're in the process of removing his toys and screaming at the top of his lungs: "Pleeeezzzzz Mom....I'm sooorrrry!  I'mmmmm sooooorrrrry!" And what have we done in the past?  We sometimes feel sorry for him, let the punishment slide, and give him one more chance.  (You know you've done it too. ;)   So, no more second or third chances. Once punishment enforcement is in play - typically when we're rounding up toys to go into the Box of Doom or sending him up to bed 30 minutes early - the action will be carried out.

Timers...and other visual and auditory signals.  We have been utilizing timers for awhile now (like for timeouts), but we're not using them as well as we should.  Most small children don't understand abstract concepts ("You're going to bed in x number of minutes") and really need visual/auditory supports and reminders to stay on track.  So we've opted to set a designated bedtime - 8pm - and really stick to it. No waivers on weekdays....TV will be turned off at 7:30pm and toys will be picked up by 7:45.  Noah is able to read the clock now and we will also be setting timers each night to help him with following through.  Watching a clock count down and hearing the timer has an amazing affect on children's willingness to move into action, don't you think?      

The Consequences Checklist.  We opted to create a graduated consequence tool (a list) that Noah can see at all times.  I think this is similar to the red dot or star system teachers often use in schools. This way, he is well aware of where he's at on the list, what the next level of punishment is for any misbehavior, and how to moderate his behavior to prevent the escalation of said consequences.  Some of the consequences we've chosen are:  timeouts (5 minutes), loss of TV/computer/phone privileges, early bedtime, and loss of toys.

Reward tickets.  I didn't want all of our new changes to be strictly negative-based reinforcement, so I think a reward system is great way of encouraging desirable behavior.  Noah earns an allowance (we've cut out buying things for him on a whim), but I also wanted to implement a reward system for when he either takes great initiative to do things on his own or exhibits radical behavior modification without threat of punishment.  I'd like for most of these tickets to be based on things he gets to do versus things he gets to have (as seen here), but we occasionally may reward him with a Jamba Juice or Hot Wheels car as we see fit.   

Utilizing these new methods will hopefully teach Noah exactly what is expected of him and the exact consequences for undesirable behavior.  While I realize his behavior will never be perfect (whose is?) and we'll have regressions every now and then, I hope we can encourage the angry, red eyed monster to sleep more often and not annoy us with his presence...on our part or Noah's.  Deployment is fast approaching and I'd like to think that I can encourage and receive more positive moments from Noah than negative ones while Chris is away.  Pray for us! :)